This column always speaks to the thing that’s bothering me most that week. I moved away from London a few years ago and have been so busy with my ‘from home’ desk job and motherhood, I’ve not made any friends. Not one. Need to find that local fandom for crappy Christmas movies. Thanks as ever for your words
I get this to my core. I'm a huge dopamine chaser (recently diagnosed with ADHD at 49) and i've never sustained hobbies as they tend to morph into my work -- and I love that, because work always feels like play -- but last year I stumbled upon the Blythe doll world and life hasn't been the same since. Never liked dolls as a kid, don't have kids of my own, and yet somehow I'm now the proud owner of 10 customised Blythe dolls, several beautiful BJDs (ball-jointed dolls) and more doll clothes than I know what to do with! I've made some really lovely friends through this hobby and it's just really really fun and creative and silly and my inner child is happy. So while i don't get the the BTS thing, I totally get it :-)
This again speaks so much to me! Moving to Australia from the UK 10 years ago was so hard. But connecting with friends in my forties was a wee bit liberating.
Finding other friends who were my podcast obsession queens, menopause experts and journalist lover similars just made me feel more connected. I just wish I wasn't in WA sometimes as it's a country in a country and everything above is always in NSW/VIC.
I love following your work Jo - thank you. I so wish Elizabeth Day was my friend too.
I will resist the urge to launch into my 'THEY ARE NOT A BOY BAND' Ted Talk. Lol. I've never been to WA, it certainly seems like a very far away land. But beautiful. Thank you so much for your very kind comments and for reading my ramblings, Natalie! xx
I really loved reading this, I love how as adults we can still become big silly fans over anything and everything. It reminded me of an answer I gave in an interview a while ago, the question was about the positive impact of creativity and part of my answer was about the communities and friendships formed from being fans, "Creating has a positive impact on people not only because of the connection between say, me, the artist, and you, the viewer, but think of the powerful communities formed over a shared love of a song, book or drawing. A compelling bond can form between people simply because they are fans, and I find that magical."
Geography or circumstance (whether in education or employment) have never been particularly fruitful in female friendships for me but each phase has usually resulted in one or two special connections that have endured.
For all its’ potential pitfalls, Social Media has been my gateway to finding true & enduring friendships as I approach 40. Finding your ‘tribe’- however niche your interests are- is possible. As someone who has had (& continues to experience) a lot of bouts of ill health, I became aware of those that were merely fair weather associations.
I now feel content in quality over quantity; I enjoy having different social groups for my different interests both online & in real life. I only wish I was able to ‘show up’ more often!
Social media has definitely given me more joy than pain, especially when it comes to making great friends. And your real friends know you're showing up, even if you can't always do it physically. xx
Love this column. I always try to remember that friends are for a reason, a season or life - my life friends haven’t changed but the others have - and I’m happy with this.
I do have a friend, who I’ve known for a few years through tennis but we both do the same spin class on a Saturday morning. We then both spend a good amount of time discussing our stats after much to the bemusement of others.
This column always speaks to the thing that’s bothering me most that week. I moved away from London a few years ago and have been so busy with my ‘from home’ desk job and motherhood, I’ve not made any friends. Not one. Need to find that local fandom for crappy Christmas movies. Thanks as ever for your words
There will most certainly be that fandom. I bet there's a group on Facebook. Thanks so much for such lovely comments, DG. xx
I get this to my core. I'm a huge dopamine chaser (recently diagnosed with ADHD at 49) and i've never sustained hobbies as they tend to morph into my work -- and I love that, because work always feels like play -- but last year I stumbled upon the Blythe doll world and life hasn't been the same since. Never liked dolls as a kid, don't have kids of my own, and yet somehow I'm now the proud owner of 10 customised Blythe dolls, several beautiful BJDs (ball-jointed dolls) and more doll clothes than I know what to do with! I've made some really lovely friends through this hobby and it's just really really fun and creative and silly and my inner child is happy. So while i don't get the the BTS thing, I totally get it :-)
Ha ha! But I get the Blythe doll thing, they are fabulous. To be honest I’m now 80% sure I am undiagnosed but adhd. But I’ve got this far… 🤷♀️❤️
This again speaks so much to me! Moving to Australia from the UK 10 years ago was so hard. But connecting with friends in my forties was a wee bit liberating.
Finding other friends who were my podcast obsession queens, menopause experts and journalist lover similars just made me feel more connected. I just wish I wasn't in WA sometimes as it's a country in a country and everything above is always in NSW/VIC.
I love following your work Jo - thank you. I so wish Elizabeth Day was my friend too.
But I'll leave the boy band. They're no NKOTB!
I will resist the urge to launch into my 'THEY ARE NOT A BOY BAND' Ted Talk. Lol. I've never been to WA, it certainly seems like a very far away land. But beautiful. Thank you so much for your very kind comments and for reading my ramblings, Natalie! xx
I really loved reading this, I love how as adults we can still become big silly fans over anything and everything. It reminded me of an answer I gave in an interview a while ago, the question was about the positive impact of creativity and part of my answer was about the communities and friendships formed from being fans, "Creating has a positive impact on people not only because of the connection between say, me, the artist, and you, the viewer, but think of the powerful communities formed over a shared love of a song, book or drawing. A compelling bond can form between people simply because they are fans, and I find that magical."
Oh this has warmed my heart. Exactly this! Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts, Tamzin. Xx
Big love for this
Life ruiner. Love you for life. xx
Geography or circumstance (whether in education or employment) have never been particularly fruitful in female friendships for me but each phase has usually resulted in one or two special connections that have endured.
For all its’ potential pitfalls, Social Media has been my gateway to finding true & enduring friendships as I approach 40. Finding your ‘tribe’- however niche your interests are- is possible. As someone who has had (& continues to experience) a lot of bouts of ill health, I became aware of those that were merely fair weather associations.
I now feel content in quality over quantity; I enjoy having different social groups for my different interests both online & in real life. I only wish I was able to ‘show up’ more often!
Social media has definitely given me more joy than pain, especially when it comes to making great friends. And your real friends know you're showing up, even if you can't always do it physically. xx
Love this column. I always try to remember that friends are for a reason, a season or life - my life friends haven’t changed but the others have - and I’m happy with this.
I do have a friend, who I’ve known for a few years through tennis but we both do the same spin class on a Saturday morning. We then both spend a good amount of time discussing our stats after much to the bemusement of others.
I also love Peloton. And I want to wang on about it to anyone who will listen! I love being a ‘fan’ in my 40’s ❤️
Who's your favourite instructor? Wang away! xx
Ben and Leanne - who’d have thought listening to dance music on a bike that goes nowhere getting sweaty would have made me enjoy exercise.
And I’m doing my best to influence my friends to get one too. Then I can wang on to them too!