I love this! I’m in finance, so I work with mostly men. I’m happy to see them being engaged dads and also supportive of equality in the workplace. I also value my spaces for women, I went to all a women’s college, which I absolutely loved, but we have to involve men in the conversation, too. In my opinion, that’s how we get real, lasting change.
Great topic for conversation Jo. I could say quite a lot about it! But in short, I’m proud to work for an employer who is addressing exactly this. The Women’s Network isn’t just for women. They host events where men speak on panels as allies and come along as attendees They are sponsors and active participants. Menopause at Work sessions aren’t just hosted by women, for women. I’ve seen the room full of men; some of them asking questions about how they can support the women in their teams going through menopause. None of them are making feeble jokes about being ‘banned’ because it’s ‘just for women.’ To me, it feels genuine and authentic. I wonder how many other companies have this approach.
This is brilliant, I agree with all your points and it's real food for thought. Currently bringing up a teenage daughter and a teenage son and I worry for them both, for all of the above reasons.
A small point, but David Challen, who helped free his mum, Sally, in the landmark coercive control case, is still a dedicated campaigner against VAWG. I am glad to see his regular commentary on cases. There has been a lot of discussion lately about the lack of male voices commenting on the Pélicot case (such as Caroline’s piece on Invisible Women). We need more men publicly and privately talking about issues affecting women and families.
Oh yes you are right, Georgia. What a nightmare journey he and his family have had. With the deepest respect to him, I think the difference is that violence against wen had a direct impact on his life. I want more men to step up, just because they think it’s important, regardless of the stakes for them. X
Yes! As someone who used to happily volunteer as the team or company mascot for ‘women in tech / business / banking / bleugh’ this is one of my biggest bug bears as I’ve gotten older. At some point I think the scales fall from your eyes and you realise just how much of a systemic issue this is we are up against. I’ve even noticed myself veer away from certain events when I think it will just be a shared ‘rueing the lack of women in the mgmt pipeline’ or ‘share stories about how I got undermined again’ before we shrug and move on.
I want things to actually change in my lifetime. How do we do it?? On my side at least now when they ask me to do that women’s day promote the company stuff I write pissed off substacks about the audacity of it instead 😂
Oh wow, I didn't realize how much I needed this piece today. I could not agree more!!! The feminist movement has operated within the terminology and structures of patriarchy the entire time it's existed, and working within patriarchy ensures the continued dominance of patriarchal values and ideals. We MUST include men in the movement. We MUST have men speaking at events, and TO EACH OTHER. If we exclude them, we risk either continuing to prop up the very systems that keep us all oppressed OR creating a new system of oppression where the tables have turned. I've seen both happening - just read the book "The Power" by Naomi Alderman for a glimpse at what science fiction is seeing in the future of the current "girl power" movement - and we all know how prescient science fiction can be. And you're right - it does contribute to the rise of manosphere monsters like Andrew Tate. Thank you, Jo, for this incredibly insightful piece! I will be sharing!
I think you’re so right. I think men want to be invited in, to some conversations anyway. Men are completely excluded from the menopause conversation and they desperately need to be a part of it so they know how to support the woman/women in their life going through menopause and especially perimenopause. This is a hobby horse of mine and any man I’ve spoken to about it really want to be let in and wants to know how to help but they’ve been excluded from the conversation. I have big plans to change this!!! 💪
So many of us are over Instagram! I have just under 13,000 followers and reach only a few hundred. Every piece of content feels like an uphill battle and it’s exhausting! I haven’t posted to my feed in a year and use stories to promote my Substack. I do however love Threads!
Love this & love my female friends & colleagues, but as a mother of boys , I want them to grow up to be supportive equal partners & not roll their eyes when I talk about female equality . They need to be part of the solution
Oh it's so tricky. That line where including a man makes people angry because the point is to give women the microphone, but the sad truth that if a man's there then maybe more men will come and listen to everyone speaking.
Which *is* sad, but a normal human reaction too, if we think about it. Men can be as intimidated by women as we can be of them, albeit for different reasons. We do need to start reaching out more to men to confront it as humans, rather than just women.
I love this! I’m in finance, so I work with mostly men. I’m happy to see them being engaged dads and also supportive of equality in the workplace. I also value my spaces for women, I went to all a women’s college, which I absolutely loved, but we have to involve men in the conversation, too. In my opinion, that’s how we get real, lasting change.
Great topic for conversation Jo. I could say quite a lot about it! But in short, I’m proud to work for an employer who is addressing exactly this. The Women’s Network isn’t just for women. They host events where men speak on panels as allies and come along as attendees They are sponsors and active participants. Menopause at Work sessions aren’t just hosted by women, for women. I’ve seen the room full of men; some of them asking questions about how they can support the women in their teams going through menopause. None of them are making feeble jokes about being ‘banned’ because it’s ‘just for women.’ To me, it feels genuine and authentic. I wonder how many other companies have this approach.
This heartens me, how brilliant. x
This is brilliant, I agree with all your points and it's real food for thought. Currently bringing up a teenage daughter and a teenage son and I worry for them both, for all of the above reasons.
A small point, but David Challen, who helped free his mum, Sally, in the landmark coercive control case, is still a dedicated campaigner against VAWG. I am glad to see his regular commentary on cases. There has been a lot of discussion lately about the lack of male voices commenting on the Pélicot case (such as Caroline’s piece on Invisible Women). We need more men publicly and privately talking about issues affecting women and families.
Oh yes you are right, Georgia. What a nightmare journey he and his family have had. With the deepest respect to him, I think the difference is that violence against wen had a direct impact on his life. I want more men to step up, just because they think it’s important, regardless of the stakes for them. X
Yes absolutely agree, Jo
Thank you for saying this…all of it.
Yes! As someone who used to happily volunteer as the team or company mascot for ‘women in tech / business / banking / bleugh’ this is one of my biggest bug bears as I’ve gotten older. At some point I think the scales fall from your eyes and you realise just how much of a systemic issue this is we are up against. I’ve even noticed myself veer away from certain events when I think it will just be a shared ‘rueing the lack of women in the mgmt pipeline’ or ‘share stories about how I got undermined again’ before we shrug and move on.
I want things to actually change in my lifetime. How do we do it?? On my side at least now when they ask me to do that women’s day promote the company stuff I write pissed off substacks about the audacity of it instead 😂
Brilliant article and absolutely food for thought as someone who does a lot of women only business networking.
Oh wow, I didn't realize how much I needed this piece today. I could not agree more!!! The feminist movement has operated within the terminology and structures of patriarchy the entire time it's existed, and working within patriarchy ensures the continued dominance of patriarchal values and ideals. We MUST include men in the movement. We MUST have men speaking at events, and TO EACH OTHER. If we exclude them, we risk either continuing to prop up the very systems that keep us all oppressed OR creating a new system of oppression where the tables have turned. I've seen both happening - just read the book "The Power" by Naomi Alderman for a glimpse at what science fiction is seeing in the future of the current "girl power" movement - and we all know how prescient science fiction can be. And you're right - it does contribute to the rise of manosphere monsters like Andrew Tate. Thank you, Jo, for this incredibly insightful piece! I will be sharing!
I think you’re so right. I think men want to be invited in, to some conversations anyway. Men are completely excluded from the menopause conversation and they desperately need to be a part of it so they know how to support the woman/women in their life going through menopause and especially perimenopause. This is a hobby horse of mine and any man I’ve spoken to about it really want to be let in and wants to know how to help but they’ve been excluded from the conversation. I have big plans to change this!!! 💪
Amen to all that!
So many of us are over Instagram! I have just under 13,000 followers and reach only a few hundred. Every piece of content feels like an uphill battle and it’s exhausting! I haven’t posted to my feed in a year and use stories to promote my Substack. I do however love Threads!
Love this & love my female friends & colleagues, but as a mother of boys , I want them to grow up to be supportive equal partners & not roll their eyes when I talk about female equality . They need to be part of the solution
As a mother of drs…. Nope mother of men I hope my DH & I raised them both to treat women well wherever they are, work or in their personal life
Oh it's so tricky. That line where including a man makes people angry because the point is to give women the microphone, but the sad truth that if a man's there then maybe more men will come and listen to everyone speaking.
Which *is* sad, but a normal human reaction too, if we think about it. Men can be as intimidated by women as we can be of them, albeit for different reasons. We do need to start reaching out more to men to confront it as humans, rather than just women.
Thanks for writing this!