11 Comments
Oct 26, 2023Liked by Jo Elvin

My Mum regularly fed my brother raw eggs (in milk with sugar and nutmeg - it’s surprisingly nice) and he didn’t become famous. Instead, he lived at home till he was 40.

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To push or not not push? I think about this myself when my daughter quits a club. But then I always think of Vanessa-Mae and how much she hated her mum for making her play the violin for hours every day, despite all the fame and fortune. I love how she took control and became an Olympic skiier (for Thailand) fulfilling her actual ambition to be a ‘ski bum.’ At the end of the day I think kids know what they want and we can help them and encourage them but personally I couldn’t stand to see my kids cry so I guess there will be no champion footballers in this house.

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Oct 27, 2023Liked by Jo Elvin

I enjoyed reading this Jo. You’re right, no one is talking about Ted. I wonder if it would have been different had Sandra been the drill sergeant?! I guess she was too busy working on her hit list.

Anyway, it’s made me come to the conclusion us Gen X-ers want kids to be happy, our baby boomer parents wanted us to suffer as they did!

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I admit, I haven't watched the documentary, just watched a few ads about it that were circulated. I don't know Ted, but there are many parents like that. My dad was tough, but fair and if he said 'no', I knew I wouldn't get a 'yes' no matter what I tried. it certainly made me tougher and while I might have not appreciated it then, I am grateful for many of his lessons now. do I easily give in with mine? No, I don't. When my kids need my support, to talk or to hug, I am there, but if I think their demand or requests are unrealistic, I easily say "no' and explain why. Nowadays we do shelter and overprotect our kids too much, saying that their lives are tougher. But talking about 'mental health' left, right and centre won't make them more resilient - and that is the quality, like confidence, is what we need to install in the children.

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Oct 27, 2023Liked by Jo Elvin

See also: Richard Williams. Learned about tennis from library books and created Serena and Venus (don't forget the drive by shootings as they practiced!) I don't know how they see that talent. And I don't know how the children don't tell them, "No more!" and stomp off indoors in a fit...

Also, I wonder how many lads, after that documentary, are being fed raw eggs and Guinness and practicing corners in the garden of a semi? Poor souls...It's all Ted's fault!

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Having done a lot of reading and learning recently see Gabor Mate, Bruce Perry and Bessel van der Kolk. I think we are only just really learning the impact childhood has on our mental health. We all just want time be seen for who we are and it not be conditional. I finished Matthew Perry’s Memoir last night and he said he would swap all the money, fame to be at peace.

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Oct 27, 2023Liked by Jo Elvin

For me Ted Beckham is a stricter Ted Lasso. Not only did he reinforce strict routines with his son, his consistency in his approach to Believe was also the key to the Kingdom. Yes, he did come across as a bit of a drill sergeant but the love for his child shone through too. ☺️

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I just recently watched the Beckham documentary (I'm at the third episode) and like you, I'm impressed by Beckham's sports talent and was also struck by the dad. Never heard of him and certainly felt that he was the reason behind his son's success but was unsure about how tough he had been. This seemed to suit David Beckham in the end but for other children, this could be really damaging and as we see in the documentary, mentalh health was not a thing at the time...

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