Is it Oscar Wilde who said: when a friend succeeds a little bit of me dies? It’s totally normal. Any one who has ever had a sibling or has kids knows about jealousy - and you are right that it’s a good moment to have a look inside! Well done for writing about it! Kudos x
On a daily basis Jo, daily. basis. I'm constantly jealous of others people success, even if it's success I probably wouldn't care for if I tried my hand at it. As lame as it sounds, watching people on Instagram parade around taking photos of themselves and securing brand deals and raking in the cash, I'm jealous of how easy it looks to do. But then I have to remind myself that I'm never going to be interested in putting myself in that sort of spotlight, so what's there to be jealous of! Giving yourself that mental check of "well if you want it, then go ahead, no one is stopping you" - is helpful to realise what I actually want!
I’ve never been jealous of my friends achievements, it would only be a slight pang of the green eyed monster from people I see on social media. But then I remember that they are only showing the positive/glamorous side and making it look easy.
When the reality is often the complete opposite.
And, like you say, on reflection it’s not even something I even really want.
I used to feel jealousy a lot more than I do now that I’ve had a couple of years of “doing the work” on myself. I’d often be consumed by it to an unhealthy degree. I realise now that having changed careers in my 30s, and thrown everything at it, it was really about imposter syndrome and that my sense of worth has come from work / education since I was about 16 (and a catastrophic GCSE results / actually the best fail I ever had). It still rears its head, and similar to what you mention I examine it. I’m good at putting it back in its box, but it’s still there. Probably always will be.
Whenever I feel that pang of jealousy - and it happens more often that I would want to admit, thank you Instagram- I get a boost of motivation, a drive to do things better. It’s like a cold shower I need to reactivate the system. Thank you for your honesty today, it feels so good to be seen! :)
Awesome Sunday read Jo! I guess a lot of times of been the “ I ‘NEVER’ get jealous” type. MostlyI am the person who is genuinely happy to see people succeed and do well in their life. However after reading this I believe I do have moments I see someone post a vacay in Maldives or make mothering look effortless and I think to myself ....HOW!? AND then the gruesome thought (I covet) ....WHY NOT ME?” Like you I’ve learn to set with these thoughts when they pop up instead of pushing them down or away. Thanks for your transparency on this matter though! Loved reading every bit of it!
This feels terribly timely as I am struggling not with professional jealousy but with romantic jealousy right now. I’ve just started seeing someone who lives in another country. I have a good feeling about it all and am off to visit him for six weeks soon but yesterday he told me he’d leant his ex girlfriend money and it’s spun me into a jealous knot - which above all I’m very ashamed of...! Your words are highlighting my feelings - it’s that shame that comes with the jealousy which is almost worse!
Is it Oscar Wilde who said: when a friend succeeds a little bit of me dies? It’s totally normal. Any one who has ever had a sibling or has kids knows about jealousy - and you are right that it’s a good moment to have a look inside! Well done for writing about it! Kudos x
On a daily basis Jo, daily. basis. I'm constantly jealous of others people success, even if it's success I probably wouldn't care for if I tried my hand at it. As lame as it sounds, watching people on Instagram parade around taking photos of themselves and securing brand deals and raking in the cash, I'm jealous of how easy it looks to do. But then I have to remind myself that I'm never going to be interested in putting myself in that sort of spotlight, so what's there to be jealous of! Giving yourself that mental check of "well if you want it, then go ahead, no one is stopping you" - is helpful to realise what I actually want!
Great post Jo. And so good to hear coming from you. I'm jealous of you for editing magazines when it was still exciting and powerful.
I’ve never been jealous of my friends achievements, it would only be a slight pang of the green eyed monster from people I see on social media. But then I remember that they are only showing the positive/glamorous side and making it look easy.
When the reality is often the complete opposite.
And, like you say, on reflection it’s not even something I even really want.
I used to feel jealousy a lot more than I do now that I’ve had a couple of years of “doing the work” on myself. I’d often be consumed by it to an unhealthy degree. I realise now that having changed careers in my 30s, and thrown everything at it, it was really about imposter syndrome and that my sense of worth has come from work / education since I was about 16 (and a catastrophic GCSE results / actually the best fail I ever had). It still rears its head, and similar to what you mention I examine it. I’m good at putting it back in its box, but it’s still there. Probably always will be.
Whenever I feel that pang of jealousy - and it happens more often that I would want to admit, thank you Instagram- I get a boost of motivation, a drive to do things better. It’s like a cold shower I need to reactivate the system. Thank you for your honesty today, it feels so good to be seen! :)
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Awesome Sunday read Jo! I guess a lot of times of been the “ I ‘NEVER’ get jealous” type. MostlyI am the person who is genuinely happy to see people succeed and do well in their life. However after reading this I believe I do have moments I see someone post a vacay in Maldives or make mothering look effortless and I think to myself ....HOW!? AND then the gruesome thought (I covet) ....WHY NOT ME?” Like you I’ve learn to set with these thoughts when they pop up instead of pushing them down or away. Thanks for your transparency on this matter though! Loved reading every bit of it!
This feels terribly timely as I am struggling not with professional jealousy but with romantic jealousy right now. I’ve just started seeing someone who lives in another country. I have a good feeling about it all and am off to visit him for six weeks soon but yesterday he told me he’d leant his ex girlfriend money and it’s spun me into a jealous knot - which above all I’m very ashamed of...! Your words are highlighting my feelings - it’s that shame that comes with the jealousy which is almost worse!