Sorry, I haven't a clue about modern dating apps, being married and having met my hubby through work. My nieces and god kids have met their SOs in school? But this bit is brilliantly hilarious! TIL🤣👏🏻

"All of them were met the old-fashioned ways: In pubs, through friends, being shouted at from cars (hashtag Australia)."

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Oct 15, 2023·edited Oct 15, 2023Liked by Jo Elvin

I think most young couples (my eldest son is 20) meet at university or through their jobs. Dating apps are a learned skill: you don’t take interactions seriously until you meet in person. Until you’ve met, it’s like browsing ASOS.

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OK so are you saying I need to CTFO?

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No advice on the dating apps from me either I’m afraid, I sincerely hope my marriage remains a happy one as having seen a couple of divorced friends navigate them I don’t think they’d be for me!

I’ve got 15 and 18 year old daughters and both say that dating apps aren’t a ‘thing’ for them and their friends. The eldest has a boyfriend who she met at school and it seems to the same for her friends - they all meet people at school/weekend jobs/going out. We live in Edinburgh though which is a relatively small city, by the time they get to 6th year they all seem to hang out at parties etc with kids from other schools so there’s plenty of new people to meet. I can imagine it might be different in a larger city like London where there’s less opportunity to meet ‘IRL’

On the ‘expectations’ stuff I’ve had as many conversations as I can (so only a few - the awkwardness is real!) about the impact of porn on what boys might think is ‘normal’, only to do things they really want to do/enjoy and never, ever send nude photos of yourself to someone even if you trust them! I get a lot of eye rolling and ‘I know!’ from them but it does mean that they know I’m not clueless about what it’s like for them and they talk to me about things that are going on with them/their friends.

I think Caitlin Moran did both me and my daughters a massive favour with her How to be a girl book and subsequent writing. I read it when mine were young and a lot of what she said stayed with me and made me more aware of the experiences my girls have had growing up. She started a conversation which has made girls of our daughter’s age more aware of what’s okay, what’s not and they seem to be confident enough to tell anyone that makes them feel uncomfortable where to go.

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On point as always Jo. As I navigate relationship speak with both my daughters all I keep thinking is ‘back in the day’ was so much simpler. No, seeing images that make you wonder about your partners activity ! Walking up the road to make a call from a phone box although a bit cold was a tad more romantic. My advice, trust that the universe will navigate you towards your one true love and you may have to kiss a few frogs on the way. 🐸👸🏻

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I’m 34 and can confirm that dating apps are savage.

All my single friends confirm that it’s worse than ever - I think the “disposable” element is so difficult, especially in London where it’s so easy to just swipe past people, as the pool is much bigger! I really feel for her after the panny D.

Hadn’t given much thought to the rape allegation side of things / consent, but I can totally see how difficult that must be for men! But on the flip side, I’m glad there’s much more awareness of it now.

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Loved this! And am thanking my lucky stars my daughter is past that age. I find modern dating horrifying and only had a brief experience of it back when Another Friend was a dating site. Early Noughties? Can’t remember. I was in quite deep with a lovely guy with whom I made the mistake of joking about his height on his profile (thinking it was a joke) - he was 5 foot 1 - but it wasn’t. What had been a fun chat with lots of email chemistry (if there is such a thing) took a very nasty turn and he sent me so many vitriolic nasty messages I had to block him. It was back when dick pix were so pixelated and blurry (because camera phones were new and unsophisticated) they weren’t in the least disturbing, even if unsolicited, and people thought meeting as avatars for a date in Second Life was cool. Innocent times, really.

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My daughter for various reasons - girls schools, lack of confidence, a hard worker didn’t have any boyfriends until Uni - she’s know living with her first boyfriend after being together for a few years. I may have preferred her to play the field a bit but that isn’t her personality at all. She wouldn’t have survived dating apps.

My son is at Uni and dating apps just not on his (or his ground of mixed friends) radar at all (thank god they sound hideous).

Two of my closest girlfriends, both divorced in their 50’s, both met and have married people that they have met on dating apps -they had to kiss a lot of frogs before meeting their Princes!

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