i will not spend voluntary time with people who make themselves feel better about themselves at my expense. and i will not stay stoic/silent in involuntary situations when they try.
i will not wear thongs. Ditto underwire bras.
i will not buy anything because an influencer tells me i "cannot live without it" (i'm contrary that way)
Writing a ‘things to achieve’ list. It won’t happen and I’ll (needlessly) feel shit about myself come the end of the year.
Missing my hair appointments. I’ve not been since the summer. Last week my husband said I looked like Joe Exotic. Point taken. I have an appointment next Friday.
Have some enviable reading target. I have an 8 year old FFS. If I can manage half a dozen books a year, that’s a win. The books aren’t going anywhere. My son won’t be 8 forever.
Thank you for sharing your list Jo and most importantly your tube story. Those TfL posters have certainly caught my attention and I’ve wondered if I’d ever be able to put it into action, should the occasion ever arise. It’s encouraging to hear a positive story (minus the wet wipe, of course! Not ideal.)
The 'thoughts are not facts' one is something I am desperate to get the hang of this year!
Some things I won't be doing:
- Apologising for appearing in somebody's inbox with a pitch idea no matter how much I squirm when sending it
- Squirming when sending pitches...
- I will also not be going on a buying clothes ban, or any other little treats if I want them, because I have spent YEARS denying myself and it only harms me
- I won't be responding to every single invitation with a no (it is my knee-jerk reaction), and instead will be looking at invitations as an opportunity that I may or may not want to go for (I won't be pressuring myself to do them all)
- I won't be spending money on 2025 diaries, because I use three various digital ones religiously, nor will I buy any more notebooks until I have written in and/or recycled those I already own
I shan't bore you with more!
P.s. What you did on the tube will have been appreciated more than you can imagine.
Well done shooing that guy away! Thanks for sharing the story.
This year I stopped feeling guilty about 'only' having a small amount of Christmas festoonery at home. Despite this, I also love wrapping presents.
I'm going to stop using service providers (hair dressers, doctors) who bum me out and/or are are on the wrong side of the ease-to-schedule with/satisfaction-with-experience balance.
In 2024 I exited a couple long-time group chats: scary and liberating. I won't do it in 2025, but I do wish there was an 'unsubscribe' button for a few people in my contact list. ;)
Love that you came to the young woman’s aid. Men have become cowards and it’s up to older women to stop the harassment. I don’t take public transportation that often anymore but if I see something I say something. Or stare or move so that I come between the girl and the piece of shit. Being a 62 year old with a resting bitch face is surprisingly effective.
I’m still working on mine. I’ve decided that January is my resting month. Maybe I’ll start in February.
I haven’t seen those tube posters but I’m very inspired by you interrupting that harasser and causing him to give up. I resolve to fight my massive self-consciousness and do the same if I ever am in that situation! Well done Jo.
adding...
i will not spend voluntary time with people who make themselves feel better about themselves at my expense. and i will not stay stoic/silent in involuntary situations when they try.
i will not wear thongs. Ditto underwire bras.
i will not buy anything because an influencer tells me i "cannot live without it" (i'm contrary that way)
Bravo for sticking up for the young woman, Jo.
I very rarely make NY resolutions. Any good habits I pick up tend to come mid-year!
A selection of things I won’t be doing:
Writing a ‘things to achieve’ list. It won’t happen and I’ll (needlessly) feel shit about myself come the end of the year.
Missing my hair appointments. I’ve not been since the summer. Last week my husband said I looked like Joe Exotic. Point taken. I have an appointment next Friday.
Have some enviable reading target. I have an 8 year old FFS. If I can manage half a dozen books a year, that’s a win. The books aren’t going anywhere. My son won’t be 8 forever.
Thank you for sharing your list Jo and most importantly your tube story. Those TfL posters have certainly caught my attention and I’ve wondered if I’d ever be able to put it into action, should the occasion ever arise. It’s encouraging to hear a positive story (minus the wet wipe, of course! Not ideal.)
The 'thoughts are not facts' one is something I am desperate to get the hang of this year!
Some things I won't be doing:
- Apologising for appearing in somebody's inbox with a pitch idea no matter how much I squirm when sending it
- Squirming when sending pitches...
- I will also not be going on a buying clothes ban, or any other little treats if I want them, because I have spent YEARS denying myself and it only harms me
- I won't be responding to every single invitation with a no (it is my knee-jerk reaction), and instead will be looking at invitations as an opportunity that I may or may not want to go for (I won't be pressuring myself to do them all)
- I won't be spending money on 2025 diaries, because I use three various digital ones religiously, nor will I buy any more notebooks until I have written in and/or recycled those I already own
I shan't bore you with more!
P.s. What you did on the tube will have been appreciated more than you can imagine.
Well done shooing that guy away! Thanks for sharing the story.
This year I stopped feeling guilty about 'only' having a small amount of Christmas festoonery at home. Despite this, I also love wrapping presents.
I'm going to stop using service providers (hair dressers, doctors) who bum me out and/or are are on the wrong side of the ease-to-schedule with/satisfaction-with-experience balance.
In 2024 I exited a couple long-time group chats: scary and liberating. I won't do it in 2025, but I do wish there was an 'unsubscribe' button for a few people in my contact list. ;)
Posh books of gift wrap patterns!? *Rushes to google (I love wrapping too)
Get involved!
Love that you came to the young woman’s aid. Men have become cowards and it’s up to older women to stop the harassment. I don’t take public transportation that often anymore but if I see something I say something. Or stare or move so that I come between the girl and the piece of shit. Being a 62 year old with a resting bitch face is surprisingly effective.
I’m still working on mine. I’ve decided that January is my resting month. Maybe I’ll start in February.
Enjoyed this so much, Jo.
"Getting dressed is my hobby. It feels brave to say that I seriously find it a source of creative joy, thinking about how to put clothes together."
I agree - one of life's small pleasures...
Oh Jo Elvin, this is the best New Year intention list I have seen on substack so far this year !!!! Love you !!
Brilliant
1. I won't tell myself off - and if I do I won't tell myself off for doing it.
2. I won't stop telling lies. They are much more entertaining than the truth.
3. I won't stop finding myself endlessly entertaining even once everyone else has.
4. I won't believe anything anyone tells me about the best diet/zumba class/snake-eye-powder/new treatment for peri-death ever again.
5. I won't stop being fickle.
Love this. I'll be taking on some of these too, namely calling out poor male behaviour and moving on from my bitchy inner voice
I haven’t seen those tube posters but I’m very inspired by you interrupting that harasser and causing him to give up. I resolve to fight my massive self-consciousness and do the same if I ever am in that situation! Well done Jo.